Burnt out, and it’s January 1st!

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results...” -Rita Mae Brown.

I did a lot of thinking on New Year’s Eve. Instead of my usual goals like losing weight and reducing stress, I’m getting to the root of the problem. For as long as I have been creating art, I consistently underpriced myself. I have made a lot of free art. At first, I told myself it was temporary, that I somehow needed to do this so I could enter the artist market and survive. To be seen. I promised myself I would raise my prices later, when I had some traction.

The truth is, when you underprice yourself, you never get that traction. You burn out. Over and over again, and it gets worse. Burning out is like crumpling up a piece of paper and hoping to flatten it out later. The creases never leave. I had to take breaks to recharge and rekindle my love for art. The sad thing is, I have a BFA degree that I worked very hard to get. I found myself looking into working a 9-to-5, because art alone can not sustain me. The thought crossed my mind that I wasn’t meant for this creative life, professionally.

It is nobody’s fault but my own; the commissions I made brought me a lot of joy. So why do I feel so bad about increasing my prices? It is a fear of not being accessible. I worried about what people would think; I still do. “How dare she ask so much. It is a drawing; anyone can do that. AI can do that cheaper.” I thought that, because I love to draw, I shouldn’t charge people a lot; it felt fake. Too good to be true. Underpricing myself felt like a punishment for finding something I love. The struggling artist trope felt like a rite of passage.

I am done punishing myself. I didn’t stumble into this career. I made a path for myself against all odds. I saw a video on social media where a business was charging $4,000 to edit someone’s manuscript and provide a cover. It was all AI. This is who I am up against. I am mad and jealous. People pay for this service whether they realize it’s AI or not. I realize that people will pay for my services, and I have to take myself seriously; I deserve that. I am a human who has spent many years fine-tuning my skills. It is not talent. I have no talent, only many hours of skill-building. I also realized in all this that I am terrible at marketing myself, very cliché for an artist, am I right?

Underpricing and undervaluing myself are affecting my health and income. It affects the way I show up. Burnt out, and it’s January 1st. What I am doing is not sustainable. This year, I am stepping away from that.

I’m going to be honest with myself and with you about the time and effort that goes into making art. My work is not for everyone, and I am okay with that. The patrons who value my art and commission me with their hard-earned money will get the best of me, like before. The change is in how I treat myself, and I am hopeful it will help my health in the process. I am silencing that little voice on my shoulder that whispers I am not worth it. I am worth it, and so is my art. So are you. In a world of AI, let’s celebrate human art and the process. Cheers to self-worth.